you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
