I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
