Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
