Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
