I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Panties = found
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
