i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
