I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
