But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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