I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
