Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize