I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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