38 yer olds are good kisserssss
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
