I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
