Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
