Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
