I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
