I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
