Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
