i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
