Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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