I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
