my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
