Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just want nice things and good sex
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
