if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
