I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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