I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
