will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
