Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize