I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
