I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
where are my eyebrows?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
