I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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