spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
