i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
