Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
