im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Soap is not a condiment
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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