Where did you get a picture of my penis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
