I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
