i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
