You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
