Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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