mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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