I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
