its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
