My brain says no but my pants say off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
