OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
