dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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