i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
