Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
