Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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