omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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