Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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