why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize