I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
