Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
