this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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