census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
