i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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