After last night, I could never be a politician.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
