I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
