She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
