just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
