marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
