trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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