I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
