First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is the high leading the old right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize