Don't you send me to vm
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize