Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize