What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
