the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
