There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
