he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
